Pyromaniac

Well there are those things that you think will never happen in your home and it happened at me today! My son, Christian (10), decided that after watching Jesse James burn something on Monster Garage that he could do that too. So while I was talking to my hubby, he lit some paper, let it burn, blew it out, and stuffed it in the trash can.

I come out of my room and smell something that has been burnt. So of course I freak out! I ask my 3 kids about it and this is how it goes:

ME

Who was burning something?

Kids

Not ME!!!!!

Micah(5)

It was HIM!!!

as he points to Christian

Christian

No I didn't!!!!

Me

Come here!

imagine me pointing my "Mom"finger and giving the "death look"

I stomp back down the hall with Christian glumly following behind

ME

OK, smell that?I know that someone was burning something...want to revise your story?!

AS we stop at the door to his room where the burning smell is still scary strong.

Christian

I lit the lighter.

reluctantly spoken

ME

Oh no, there's more to it!!!

by now I think the smoke is coming out of my ears

Christian

I lit a piece of paper

eyes downcast- shoulders hunched

Me

WHAT?!! What did you do with the paper?!

I'm sure I'm losing my mind at this crazy turn of events

Christian

I put it in the trash in the kitchen.

at this point I run down the hall, knowing that I am going to find the trashcan blazing

ME

Did you wet it down before you stuck it in there?

Christian

No, I just pushed it all the way to the bottom

ME

OK, let me get this straight, while I was in the bedroom talking with your dad you lit a piece of paper in your bedroom, took it all the way through the house, stuffed it in the kitchen trash where it could smolder and catch fire and spread through the whole kitchen possibly burning down the whole house?!!!!!!!!!!

I think my head spun around a couple of times while I said all of this

Christian

Yes.

completely demoralized

My HUSBAND

Where did you get this idea?

Christian

Monster Garage... that guy that burned stuff(Jesse James)

this is a show that he watched with dad

Needless to say this incident ended with strong discipline and I am planning a trip to visit a fireman friend who will show him the danger of fire that is improperly handled. I am also beginning to get leary about the whole puberty/testosterone/preteen thing. Lots of prayers would be good.

I hope this gives everyone a good, "Thank God, that' not my kid!"

In Christian's defense, he is an awesome kid who is amazingly smart, and very creative. I love him even when he is plotting our family bonfire.